Posted by: sharethewhine | November 2, 2009

Small Towns

You know you live in a small town when:


1. The librarian has known you since you were two years old and still remembers your birthday.

2. The car horn is used for greeting friends, not road rage.

3. What’s road rage?

4. You see a truck stopped in the middle of the road in the middle of town (the term”downtown” certainly does not apply) to chitchat with his buddy, who is leaning up against the truck (he would have been standing on the yellow line if there had been one). The sad part was, they weren’t holding up traffic!!!

5. Jaywalking isn’t a traffic offense, it is a way of life. Only tourists use crosswalks.

6. Traffic signs and common traffic laws are merely suggestions. Random stops and left hand turns should be expected at any time. What is a signal indicator?

7. Your 5-minute errand takes you 15 minutes because the person in front of you is visiting with the salesperson.

8. Your now 15-minute errand has taken a half hour because the salesperson went to school with you/your brother/your sister and now you are visiting.

9. Any mention of your last name anywhere launches an investigation of your family history, starting at “So, are you related to…”

10. If you are a local and are short of money, you may say “I will catch you next time”. This is acceptable, because chances are, the shopkeeper knows your name and probably where you live.

11. Directions are not given with road numbers, they are “Take a left at the old Hansen place, which is now Dr. Scarfield’s office….Do you remember little Jimmy Scarfield? I knew his daddy. It’s hard to believe he is  a doctor now…”

12. “Downtown” is 3 blocks long.

13. Strangers smile at you in the street.

14. You know all the police officers’ names and you are not (necessarily) a criminal


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