Posted by: sharethewhine | September 26, 2009

Diets suck

OK, let me get this straight. Conventional wisdom states that in order to lose weight, you must eat less. Not only that, but you must also eat healthier. So, sugar and sweets are bad, therefore, no dessert, no juices and limit fruit intake. Fat and grease are bad, so no chips, burgers, or fast food of any kind. Also, beware of healthy food that tastes good, eg – granola bars and that Tim Hortons muffin you had for breakfast. Salt is bad because is causes fluid retention and water weight. So, again no chips. Those almonds are healthy, but you can’t have the salted variety and be wary of cheese and a lot of condiments. Coffee is OK, as long as you don’t put cream or sugar in it and also drink 2 extra glasses of water to counteract the dehydrating effect of the caffeine. Fish has mercury in it, chicken is prone to genetic modification and avian flu, beef will give you mad cow (also, red meat is bad for you) and pork is a no-no if you belong to certain religions. Some diets even go so far as to tell you to limit your intake of certain vegetables, such as carrots, because they are “carbs”. Are you frickin’ kidding me???

What is left to eat?

Are you enjoying your dip-less celery stick (it is full of pesticides, by the way)? Good. Now go exercise!! Hup, hup, hup….you can do better than that…..move it, move it move it!!

No wonder this shit doesn’t work.

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