Posted by: sharethewhine | September 23, 2009

I Saw the Sign

Signs the season is coming is coming to a close (none too soon)

1. I’ve been told I’m not allowed to answer the phone with “Go away, we’re closed”

2. Thanks to my Dad’s prolific garden, I am slowly turning into a tomato

3. Even simple guest requests are greeted with “Are you frickin’ kidding me?”

4. NO, I cannot transfer your call to our “receiving department”, dumbass. We are NOT the Hilton

5. We are running out of stain-free towels and sheets. What leaves a yellow stain that only gets brighter with bleach??? Seriously!! AND one of the facecloths has two permanent mascara eyelash marks on it, so that it looks like the cloth is looking at you…creepy!

6. My liver is waving a white flag

7. I want to drown an 8-year-old child and she is still here for the rest of the week

8. My sister and I are making a list of people who need to be bitch-slapped. It is getting rather long.

9. I am trying to come up with new ways to use cucumbers. Any suggestions?

10. My hospital corners are turning into HMO corners.

11. Our 46-year old (no, I am not exaggerating. It has been here longer than my family has) triple-loader washing machine is again making disturbing noises and continues to wet the floor, despite efforts to fix it. Apparently, the manufacturer no longer makes parts for this particular model, go figure. We are considering offering it sacrifices to keep it happy for the remainder of the season, I’ve offered the 8-year old girl.

Don’t get me wrong, I do NOT want summer and the warm weather to end, but it is time for these people we call “guests” to go away back home and stop abusing our rules and general tolerance.



  1. You may need a holiday!!!!

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