Posted by: sharethewhine | September 14, 2009

INNsanity

This entry was originally written at the end of July:

Cough, cough, cough…
Greetings from the hazy Okanagan! As I am sure you have heard, West Kelowna (formerly Westbank) is on fire. Turn on the local news here and you can get up-to-the-second updates. Shades of the fires in 2003! The fires were close enough to Highway 97 (the main north-south artery) that they closed both it and the Coquihalla connector to Vancouver. Yesterday, some idiot threw a cigarette out of the window of a car and lit the area around  Vaseaux Lake on fire, too! Vaseaux Lake is just north of Oliver and south of Penticton. They shut the highway down there, too, so Penticton was completely shut off from both directions and had to use an old forestry road to get out of town. Fortunately, they stomped that one out fairly quickly, but they are still having trouble containing the fires in Kelowna. Hm, perhaps I will be able to get a deal on a house after all? I can picture the realtor’s ad: “Fire sale! Needs a little TLC. Still has own roof!”

The smoke haze isn’t too bad where we are located, but I drove my sister to Kelowna airport yesterday (allowing me to get off of the property for a few hours! YAY!!) and the smoke up there is amazing–blocking both the sun and any mountain views! We had to go the back route via Highway 33. It is definitely the long way to go, but it is a pretty drive through the mountains. On the way home, I did have to follow a red POS (Piece of…um, crap) car and at one point I was wondering where in BC did this numbnut live that he was unfamiliar with corners?? We took one uphill hairpin curve so slowly, I was worried I would start rolling backwards! Gah!

Back at the resort, it is another beautiful day. The mosquitoes have enjoyed my arrival and have feasted upon my flesh on a regular basis. My orange cat Tigger still hasn’t mastered “Fetch Mom a beer”, but we are working on it.

I was able to get out on the lake this afternoon and suntan my mosquito bites for a bit. My goal this week is to change colour!! I’m not asking for much, even just a shade (from “pasty” to “pale”, perhaps?). Here’s hoping!

The scenery around here has improved with this latest group of guests. There are a group of 20-somethings wandering around with their shirts off, much to my appreciation (“Hello, boys…”)!! My nephew-in-law is holding me personally responsible for the increase in cougar activity in the BC interior, but I still maintain my innocence (so far…).
I’m very grateful that my sister did come back from Alberta to help me with the our changeover, as it did not go as smoothly as we had anticipated. The combination of fatigue and drama led to my stressed-out sister completely losing her cool. As for me, my vow to reduce my alcohol consumption ended abruptly that night. To help ease her stress, I managed to get my sister drunk! This is not a challenging task, granted, but it was still entertaining! Every time her attention wandered, I poured a little more wine into her glass. She was still under the impression that she had only consumed a half a glass of wine when she tried to stand up, none to steadily. The highlight of my evening was watching her navigate down the hall to her room, rebounding off of the hallways walls the whole way! My brother and his wife had not been around for this changeover, so they were also not available for a BBQ dinner at the neighbour’s house on Sunday. That left my sister, myself, my Dad and Dad’s girlfriend to troop over en masse. What a great evening! That night it was my sister’s turn to guide my drunk ass home.

After this weekend, my sister wants to rig the doorbell so that when someone presses it, a voice says “Go away”. I can’t say that I am against the idea…

I managed to hurt my knee quite badly from a fall. Anyone who knows me should not be surprised by this occurrence. If I may say so myself, it was quite an impressive fall. I was running to catch the ringing telephone when I tripped on one of the many area rugs and FLEW a good five feet before landing on my right knee. Sadly, I only received a 6.5 from the Russian judge.

As a result of my recent adventures, my new night-time skin care regime is:

1. Rub mosquito bites with cider vinegar (Dad’s home remedy)

2. Once dry, rub Lanacane anti-itch cream (extra strength!) on mosquito bites

3. Apply Polysporin cream onto cuts and abrasions

4. Go to bed smelling vaguely like salad dressing

Well, back to the laundry. I have a bunch of towels bleaching that I still need to wash. Is anyone up for another rousing round of everyone’s favourite game: “Name that Stain”? Yay!

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